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Recently I have realized that I have a decidedly strong fear of canvas. There is something about the rigidity, the solidness, the loudness of the stark white. Every time I try to create on canvas I get scared and self conscious. And as any artist knows, creating when you are self conscious is never a successful endeavor. In light of this I am committing myself to the task of overcoming my fear. I just squeezed piles of gauche paint onto the canvas and attacked it with lots of water and my paintbrush to loud music. then I dribbled some ink. This is what happened. I don’t know if I want to leave it like that or paint something on top of it….

Recently I have realized that I have a decidedly strong fear of canvas. There is something about the rigidity, the solidness, the loudness of the stark white. Every time I try to create on canvas I get scared and self conscious. And as any artist knows, creating when you are self conscious is never a successful endeavor.
In light of this I am committing myself to the task of overcoming my fear. I just squeezed piles of gauche paint onto the canvas and attacked it with lots of water and my paintbrush to loud music. then I dribbled some ink. This is what happened. I don’t know if I want to leave it like that or paint something on top of it….

3 days ago 

Late night vision. Oil and ink on cardboard

Late night vision. Oil and ink on cardboard

3 weeks ago  View high resolution

painting… on the paper or on myself? I sure do make a mess

painting… on the paper or on myself? I sure do make a mess

3 weeks ago  View high resolution

Sunday Morning - updated because I decided to take pictures

Today is the first day off that I have had in almost three weeks. So I decide to devote it to sleeping in, and baking Vegan raisin scones. They are in the oven now. I can’t stop eating the dough!


We finally bought a coffee grinder so I am thoroughly enjoying freshly ground coffee that I smuggled back from Maui. So good

1 month ago 

Are things as they seem?

Are things as they seem?

(Source: nevver)

1 month ago  1,288 notes

Reality, awareness, beauty, ALIVE

I’ve been sick for the past week. I’ve no idea what I’ve had, all I know is that it has been thoroughly unpleasant. I don’t remember a good two days, I was trapped in a haze of delirium. It is strange how the state of ones body can dictate the state of ones mind. At one point I attempted to read a book, but I couldn’t focus my eyes or my mind enough to read even one full sentence. It felt as though my consciousness took a vacation from my mind. I only was aware and thinking on the most basic level, even memory of anything else was gone; they had momentarily slipped from my grasp. Looking back on this is terrifying. Can you imagine being stuck in such a place? What if that was how life was lived? Everything was so grey and flat, empty and emotionless.

Experiences like these are (at least to me) great reminders of the beauty in this life, the wondrous exhilaration of being a human being with the infinite universe of imagination and thought to explore and live through. 

This disconnect that occurred has given the wonderful gift of newness to my mind. In this moment the newness offers the kind of clarity that unfortunately cannot last long in our categorizing and rationalizing brain. In this clarity I can now pull back and see the layers of my mind, like an infinitely layered cake. I can see it to the point of visualization in my minds eye, although it is not relatable to anything in our visual reality; it feels impossible to illustrate. Reaching beyond my sight I can see and feel all of the layers, connected yet disconnected at the same time, infinite individuals create one great whole. There are so many I know nothing of, yet I can see them. Perching over me, around me. Sealing me in but at the same time giving birth to an infinite amount of space in the nothingness that would pervade if it was not there.

clarity through obscurity

1 month ago  1 note

Long weekend.

Find beauty in the small things in life

1 month ago  1 note

Questioning in Pompous verse

Bright moon
What are you asking of me?
Rapturously staring
Caressing my pale face with haunting,
Yearning, obscurity.

Licking the calm curves of the nearby
Tributary - pushing along
Past the hidden impediments,
Subjection relinquished fully.

Continual flow into exhaustive stillness,
Your rays break the solidified air.
Swim in the frozen sky
Clearly lighting peculiarities

To a level of impalpability by human sense.
Iridescent webs embraced by midnight winds
Strewn about to blanket my retinas
Exsiccating fraudulent palisades.

Benignantly leaving cardinal carcasses
Disrobed and bleeding in
The Universal nothingness
Where does it go from there?

Bright moon
What are you asking of me?
Palpating my form to a shape
Unknown to me.
Kindly obliterating the Universal everything

4 months ago 

first snowy (and freezing) day in Dresden Now winter nights enlarge This number of their hours; And clouds their storms discharge Upon the airy towers. Let now the chimneys blaze And cups o'erflow with wine, Let well-tuned words amaze With harmony divine... This time doth well dispense With lovers' long discourse; Much speech hath some defense, Though beauty no remorse. All do not all things well: Some measures comely tread, Some knotted riddles tell, Some poems smoothly read. The summer hath his joys, And winter his delights; Though love and all his pleasures are but toys They shorten tedious nights.

first snowy (and freezing) day in Dresden

Now winter nights enlarge
	This number of their hours;
And clouds their storms discharge
	Upon the airy towers.
Let now the chimneys blaze
	And cups o'erflow with wine,
Let well-tuned words amaze
	With harmony divine...

This time doth well dispense
	With lovers' long discourse;
Much speech hath some defense,
	Though beauty no remorse.
All do not all things well:
	Some measures comely tread,
Some knotted riddles tell,
	Some poems smoothly read.
The summer hath his joys,
	And winter his delights;
Though love and all his pleasures are but toys
	They shorten tedious nights.

4 months ago  View high resolution

Erin and I.

breatheproperlystaycurious:

Zarina and I.

Paul B. Goode

4 months ago  3 notes

Recently I have realized that I have a decidedly strong fear of canvas. There is something about the rigidity, the solidness, the loudness of the stark white. Every time I try to create on canvas I get scared and self conscious. And as any artist knows, creating when you are self conscious is never a successful endeavor. In light of this I am committing myself to the task of overcoming my fear. I just squeezed piles of gauche paint onto the canvas and attacked it with lots of water and my paintbrush to loud music. then I dribbled some ink. This is what happened. I don’t know if I want to leave it like that or paint something on top of it….

Recently I have realized that I have a decidedly strong fear of canvas. There is something about the rigidity, the solidness, the loudness of the stark white. Every time I try to create on canvas I get scared and self conscious. And as any artist knows, creating when you are self conscious is never a successful endeavor.
In light of this I am committing myself to the task of overcoming my fear. I just squeezed piles of gauche paint onto the canvas and attacked it with lots of water and my paintbrush to loud music. then I dribbled some ink. This is what happened. I don’t know if I want to leave it like that or paint something on top of it….

Late night vision. Oil and ink on cardboard

Late night vision. Oil and ink on cardboard

painting… on the paper or on myself? I sure do make a mess

painting… on the paper or on myself? I sure do make a mess

Sunday Morning - updated because I decided to take pictures

Today is the first day off that I have had in almost three weeks. So I decide to devote it to sleeping in, and baking Vegan raisin scones. They are in the oven now. I can’t stop eating the dough!


We finally bought a coffee grinder so I am thoroughly enjoying freshly ground coffee that I smuggled back from Maui. So good

Are things as they seem?

Are things as they seem?

(Source: nevver)

Reality, awareness, beauty, ALIVE

I’ve been sick for the past week. I’ve no idea what I’ve had, all I know is that it has been thoroughly unpleasant. I don’t remember a good two days, I was trapped in a haze of delirium. It is strange how the state of ones body can dictate the state of ones mind. At one point I attempted to read a book, but I couldn’t focus my eyes or my mind enough to read even one full sentence. It felt as though my consciousness took a vacation from my mind. I only was aware and thinking on the most basic level, even memory of anything else was gone; they had momentarily slipped from my grasp. Looking back on this is terrifying. Can you imagine being stuck in such a place? What if that was how life was lived? Everything was so grey and flat, empty and emotionless.

Experiences like these are (at least to me) great reminders of the beauty in this life, the wondrous exhilaration of being a human being with the infinite universe of imagination and thought to explore and live through. 

This disconnect that occurred has given the wonderful gift of newness to my mind. In this moment the newness offers the kind of clarity that unfortunately cannot last long in our categorizing and rationalizing brain. In this clarity I can now pull back and see the layers of my mind, like an infinitely layered cake. I can see it to the point of visualization in my minds eye, although it is not relatable to anything in our visual reality; it feels impossible to illustrate. Reaching beyond my sight I can see and feel all of the layers, connected yet disconnected at the same time, infinite individuals create one great whole. There are so many I know nothing of, yet I can see them. Perching over me, around me. Sealing me in but at the same time giving birth to an infinite amount of space in the nothingness that would pervade if it was not there.

clarity through obscurity

Long weekend.

Find beauty in the small things in life

Questioning in Pompous verse

Bright moon
What are you asking of me?
Rapturously staring
Caressing my pale face with haunting,
Yearning, obscurity.

Licking the calm curves of the nearby
Tributary - pushing along
Past the hidden impediments,
Subjection relinquished fully.

Continual flow into exhaustive stillness,
Your rays break the solidified air.
Swim in the frozen sky
Clearly lighting peculiarities

To a level of impalpability by human sense.
Iridescent webs embraced by midnight winds
Strewn about to blanket my retinas
Exsiccating fraudulent palisades.

Benignantly leaving cardinal carcasses
Disrobed and bleeding in
The Universal nothingness
Where does it go from there?

Bright moon
What are you asking of me?
Palpating my form to a shape
Unknown to me.
Kindly obliterating the Universal everything

first snowy (and freezing) day in Dresden Now winter nights enlarge This number of their hours; And clouds their storms discharge Upon the airy towers. Let now the chimneys blaze And cups o'erflow with wine, Let well-tuned words amaze With harmony divine... This time doth well dispense With lovers' long discourse; Much speech hath some defense, Though beauty no remorse. All do not all things well: Some measures comely tread, Some knotted riddles tell, Some poems smoothly read. The summer hath his joys, And winter his delights; Though love and all his pleasures are but toys They shorten tedious nights.

first snowy (and freezing) day in Dresden

Now winter nights enlarge
	This number of their hours;
And clouds their storms discharge
	Upon the airy towers.
Let now the chimneys blaze
	And cups o'erflow with wine,
Let well-tuned words amaze
	With harmony divine...

This time doth well dispense
	With lovers' long discourse;
Much speech hath some defense,
	Though beauty no remorse.
All do not all things well:
	Some measures comely tread,
Some knotted riddles tell,
	Some poems smoothly read.
The summer hath his joys,
	And winter his delights;
Though love and all his pleasures are but toys
	They shorten tedious nights.

Erin and I.

breatheproperlystaycurious:

Zarina and I.

Paul B. Goode

Sunday Morning - updated because I decided to take pictures
Reality, awareness, beauty, ALIVE
Questioning in Pompous verse

About:

“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life’s about creating yourself." – Emerson

Following:

A Beginner's Mind
SCHIELE
this isn't happiness.
Neil Gaiman
INSIDEHARRYPARIS
Ballerina Project
A divine act of lunacy
Breathe Properly. Stay Curious.
ART HISTORY
byin rlabs
How We Choose To Distort It
Closets Filled with Rapture
Emma. Period.